:):

Heyas!

I'm still not in the mood of writing a blog actually, too many things happening around that worn me out...what things? well... I'll tell in private line for that story, if you want to know, not wise to write in a world-wide-watching platform, since I might speak wildly and so humanly hurting some people (maybe) haha.... Plus as usual, my knee start complaining anytime I put on the "too-tired" label. Definitely no more energy to exercise or even to just friendly starting conversation to anyone. But then... bang!

   What happen to you niex? this is not you! You are a smiler, someone who will laugh at any obstacles and whatever future may bring!

At the very moment this phrase snuggling into my brain, a BBM came in from Pastor DP:
"whats your full name? I need your full name to be printed in the schedule+invitation to all those 120 pastors"

and ....I laughed! A hard sudden "ngakak" laugh.... I'm tired and crazy by now, 90% confirmed haha


Do you ever experience that all obstacles and seem-bad-things happen all at once? Dan masih kayak kurang ajah porsinya, tiba-tiba si pastor bisa bbm mengingatkan tentang stress yang lain yang aku coba lupakan (soalnya too nervous jadi penginnya gak diinget-inget) tapi ... diingatkan passsss puncak-puncaknya semua over my head.... that's the automatic-system-reply: Laugh!

You try to fight it and surviving it, but deep inside you are just simply tired of all those routine life menu called Trouble!
After pastor reminding me about my another "thing to do"  I laughed and now I can sing that Lenka "trouble is a friend ouw..ouww..." haha


Any movement toward freedom and life, any movement toward God or others, will be opposed. Marriage, friendship, beauty, rest - the thief wants it all. So, it becomes the devil's business to keep the Christian's spirit imprisoned. He knows that the believing and justified Christian has been raised up out of the grave of his sins and trespasses. From that point on, Satan works that much harder to keep us bound and gagged, actually imprisoned in our own grave clothes. He knows that if we continue in this kind of bondage. . . we are not much better off than when we were spiritually dead. (A.W. Tozer)

Aha! it's forewarned! 

Yeah, I'm in total agreement with that saying. Any movement forward always be opposed. 

Anytime I want to be more friendly, that very time the situation pushing me to the other side of not-so-friendly circumstances. Yet I'm sticking in being friendly and even I talk to strangers and smile to everyone more often this last 2 years, so .... the enemy also trying harder (namanya ajah ibis, ya jelas iblis banget lah kelakuannya, gak mau kalah) 

So the aim now including one factor called exhaustion. Yes, it's so darn hard to be nice when we're tired, moreover when everyone around just adding more pressure by pushing you to the edge of the sanity line. 

But it's our decision to choose what we going to do right? (and sssstttt these several days I chose the looking so bad+ "jutek" me than my usual silly-always-smile trademark) Guess what? I become more tired! hahaha... So, I'm in my hard-trying to put my smile back again, and I found a good cheap remedy (other than praying and get closer to God of course) is.... smashing mosquitos!!! hahahaa this activity is SO much fun! *award for penemunya raket nyamuk!* Lagi musim nyamuk sih disini, jadi pas ada nyamuk mendadak bersemangat lalu yihaaaa kenaaaaa pletak-pletak cetarrrr begitu bunyinya dan bau gosong-gosong itu serasa heaven smell banget ! #lebay *hint for my future husband: tuh kan gak susah bikin happy gua, cuman beliin raket nyamuk ama kasih makan kenyang ajah bwahahhahaa ^_^v

Flashed back to several days ago, I was in the airport, receiving sms from all my cashier that they will resigned all in sudden (effective monday) when I'm about to fly to Jakarta. Yeah this is the reason why I suddenly cry in the airport, not a farewell tears, but confusion auto-reaction tears. 

But then, that quote from a book titled: Waking the Dead by John Elderedge (if you want to give me an early Christmas gift, buy this book for me pleaseeeee... it's not available here anywhere huffff... #wishlist) step into my inbox as a Daily Reading quote. After reading the paragraph, and talk to some friends, more calm friends to calm me down, I chose to walk to Starbucks redeem one free privilege drink from BCA Card, then during queueing I smiled to the guy before me, he smiled back and with a thick British accent he started a short  friendly conversation. His name is Travis, he is around 60s (maybe) accent like Hugh Grant, but the hair just as white as Steve Martin also his smile is sooooo "cheaper by the dozen smile"! haha Smiling #1 succeed! Yeahhh....

After me, there's a chinese indonesian guy, so because I want a grande size of Cafe Mocha, I choose to redeem my point instead of using the free-compliment. 

The barista asking me "Sure you don't want to use the free?"

I turned to the guy standing after me, putting my best smile and said: "do you want a free drink? but only tall size of anything, you can use mine"

And he said no, and... no "no thank you" and no smile back, no friendliness at all....ewwww...

So I told the barista, I'm sure I want to use my point to get the grande size, it's still free anyway (and... ssstttt that's the size I need to meet my after crying thirst haha). Smiling #2 failed.

But that "smiling project" was a boost for my mood, I felt much better after that. Though the guy didn't return my smile but hey... I concluded my smile has an International standard thats why the "bule" could feel the sincerity and smile back! #alasan penghiburan diri yang bermanfaat ampuh banget! I felt better in an instant haha!

Then I boarded smoothly, sleeping soundly on plane and enjoying the 2 days full having fun in the conference and forgetting my work for some moments, and surprise! my other employees handled it good enough by themselves with the shortage during my leave. Thank God.

So, I can see the devil is wearing prada and want to steal my peace whilst I join the conference, but he failed. The full two days were amazingly fun and I met some old friends, enjoying the fellowship and knowing some new friends.

But what if I choose to stick around with weariness and deciding to give up on being smiling me?

Life is a choice. 

is it :( or :) you decide! it's just one small curve but powerful enough to change anything!

Smile!