Years ago a friend introduced me to one name John Eldredge. Never hear that name before? So did I! We hardly see that name here in Indonesia (which is a pity). John is a writer (a very good one!) and he caught my attention for the very first time through his book called Captivating. The book is hard to find, and they don't have translation in Indonesian, you need to buy it online to get it, the book even written in a very rich English vocabulary... But... the book is sooooo powerful! I read it once, and now I'm encouraged to re-read it, and I will share some of my journey with "Captivating" here, may it will catch your heart (especially women) and unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul!
Let's begin!
The first line I highlighted from this book that stirs my heart to jump up and down is:
To be told when you are young and searching that "you can be anything" is not helpful. It's too vast. It gives no direction. To be told when you are older that 'you can do anything a man can do" isn't helpful, either. I didn't want to be a man.
Yup! I don't want to be a man!! That's what my heart shout for the first time. Yeah, I was born as the third child first daughter in the family, and that somehow lead me to be independent and able to take care of anything. To be in the middle, you will just taught to give in yourself to your elder brothers and younger sis&bro. Yup, thats what my mom always told me since I was a child. I joined organization, got lots of agendas to do, but no matter how much I asserted my strength and independence as a woman, my heart as a woman remained empty...What does it means to be a woman?
Lot's of materials we can find to know "what we ought to do to be a good woman" Oh.. please we all know what expectations that have been laid upon us by our parents, families, our churches and our cultures...my mom used to tell me that as a woman I need to be able to do anything! Cooking, raising kids, doing all those household works and earn your own money just like a man. Our eastern culture (especially chinese) taught us to serve man but still do anything even earning our own money. So it looks like woman will do anything! We cook, we got pregnant, we give birth, we raise kids, we teach them, we do all household works, but also we earn money! It looks and sounds cool! We're superwoman! We just one level higher than superman who have 'obligation' to work and earn a living!
The world has not been a big help here, they even looks like supporting us to be more and more equal with man. The church too! The church has been part of the problem to be honest, the message it gave to women has been primarily: "you are here to serve. That's why God created you: to serve. In the nursery, in the kitchen, on the various committees, in your home, in your community." Take a few moments to picture women you meet at church. They are sweet, they are helpful, they are busy, they are disciplined, they are composed...and they are TIRED!!! Yeah ... this is what I feel too, tired!
We're all living in the shadow of that infamous icon, "The Proverbs 31 Woman", whose life is so busy I wonder, when does she have time for friendships, for taking walks, or reading good books? Doesn't mean that we denying or ignoring those Proverbs 31 woman, or excuses ourselves to be not-so-godly, but we have missed the heart of a woman, and it's not a wise thing to do, for as Scriptures tell us the heart is central. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Prov. 4:23) Above all else!! God knows that our heart is core to who we are. It's the source for all our creativity, courage, convictions. The fountainhead of our faith, hope, and of course, our love. The heart as a woman is the most important thing about you! And our feminine heart has been created with the greatest of all possible dignities - as a reflection of God's own heart.
Think about women like Tamar, Ruth, Rahab - not very "churchy" women, but women held up for esteem in the Bible.
Every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive!
And that surely what I realize to make me alive too! Yeah...for so long I've been drowned in busyness and all those things to do, which slowly and surely lead me to be a careless person! Caring for others is kind of my thing, dunno how it happens, I just can feel more about others and love to care about them. But all those business and tasks and busyness drag me to be someone I'm not! I have no time for caring about my friends! Suddenly I found myself being not-romantic and mean! Lucky for me to know this Mr. Gresh Kumar Samtani who was in the middle of nowhere encourage me to read this "captivating" book. I repent! hahaha... yeah.. though I still can not leave all this busyness, but I'm trying my best to be back to my nature. Asking friends how they doing, doing some chit chat, traveling, shopping, stay over at friend's house. Be alive! ..Jadi... meski seliweran repotnya seabrek... I'm trying my very best to be back to my heart as a woman. Not easy! For sure! I was growing up as a very independent and not-so-feminine. But THANK GOD that He places lots of friends who somehow support me with all their being! God is always providing right? He gave Wendy and Ria as my "beauty counselor" hahaha... yeah... to unveil beauty is the woman's thing! We love to be beautiful! (jangan heran kalo banyak tuh krim pemutih lah... apapun itu yang gak penting2 yang katanya bikin wanita cantik!) hahaha.... But actually we're already beautiful! we just need to explore within ourselves and express it inside out!
I wear skirts now! Yayyyyy! hahahaha... things I won't do for sooo long... hohoho.... so... from this moment on... I'd like to encourage other women to be herself! yup... we got our own beauty, we have our own romance story...God will certainly leads us and equip us to be back to the heart of woman... to the heart of God!
Let's begin!
The first line I highlighted from this book that stirs my heart to jump up and down is:
To be told when you are young and searching that "you can be anything" is not helpful. It's too vast. It gives no direction. To be told when you are older that 'you can do anything a man can do" isn't helpful, either. I didn't want to be a man.
Yup! I don't want to be a man!! That's what my heart shout for the first time. Yeah, I was born as the third child first daughter in the family, and that somehow lead me to be independent and able to take care of anything. To be in the middle, you will just taught to give in yourself to your elder brothers and younger sis&bro. Yup, thats what my mom always told me since I was a child. I joined organization, got lots of agendas to do, but no matter how much I asserted my strength and independence as a woman, my heart as a woman remained empty...What does it means to be a woman?
Lot's of materials we can find to know "what we ought to do to be a good woman" Oh.. please we all know what expectations that have been laid upon us by our parents, families, our churches and our cultures...my mom used to tell me that as a woman I need to be able to do anything! Cooking, raising kids, doing all those household works and earn your own money just like a man. Our eastern culture (especially chinese) taught us to serve man but still do anything even earning our own money. So it looks like woman will do anything! We cook, we got pregnant, we give birth, we raise kids, we teach them, we do all household works, but also we earn money! It looks and sounds cool! We're superwoman! We just one level higher than superman who have 'obligation' to work and earn a living!
The world has not been a big help here, they even looks like supporting us to be more and more equal with man. The church too! The church has been part of the problem to be honest, the message it gave to women has been primarily: "you are here to serve. That's why God created you: to serve. In the nursery, in the kitchen, on the various committees, in your home, in your community." Take a few moments to picture women you meet at church. They are sweet, they are helpful, they are busy, they are disciplined, they are composed...and they are TIRED!!! Yeah ... this is what I feel too, tired!
We're all living in the shadow of that infamous icon, "The Proverbs 31 Woman", whose life is so busy I wonder, when does she have time for friendships, for taking walks, or reading good books? Doesn't mean that we denying or ignoring those Proverbs 31 woman, or excuses ourselves to be not-so-godly, but we have missed the heart of a woman, and it's not a wise thing to do, for as Scriptures tell us the heart is central. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Prov. 4:23) Above all else!! God knows that our heart is core to who we are. It's the source for all our creativity, courage, convictions. The fountainhead of our faith, hope, and of course, our love. The heart as a woman is the most important thing about you! And our feminine heart has been created with the greatest of all possible dignities - as a reflection of God's own heart.
Think about women like Tamar, Ruth, Rahab - not very "churchy" women, but women held up for esteem in the Bible.
Every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive!
And that surely what I realize to make me alive too! Yeah...for so long I've been drowned in busyness and all those things to do, which slowly and surely lead me to be a careless person! Caring for others is kind of my thing, dunno how it happens, I just can feel more about others and love to care about them. But all those business and tasks and busyness drag me to be someone I'm not! I have no time for caring about my friends! Suddenly I found myself being not-romantic and mean! Lucky for me to know this Mr. Gresh Kumar Samtani who was in the middle of nowhere encourage me to read this "captivating" book. I repent! hahaha... yeah.. though I still can not leave all this busyness, but I'm trying my best to be back to my nature. Asking friends how they doing, doing some chit chat, traveling, shopping, stay over at friend's house. Be alive! ..Jadi... meski seliweran repotnya seabrek... I'm trying my very best to be back to my heart as a woman. Not easy! For sure! I was growing up as a very independent and not-so-feminine. But THANK GOD that He places lots of friends who somehow support me with all their being! God is always providing right? He gave Wendy and Ria as my "beauty counselor" hahaha... yeah... to unveil beauty is the woman's thing! We love to be beautiful! (jangan heran kalo banyak tuh krim pemutih lah... apapun itu yang gak penting2 yang katanya bikin wanita cantik!) hahaha.... But actually we're already beautiful! we just need to explore within ourselves and express it inside out!
I wear skirts now! Yayyyyy! hahahaha... things I won't do for sooo long... hohoho.... so... from this moment on... I'd like to encourage other women to be herself! yup... we got our own beauty, we have our own romance story...God will certainly leads us and equip us to be back to the heart of woman... to the heart of God!
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