Tidak Cocok / Mismatch.
to match badly or unsuitably (dictionary.com)
One common reason most of divorced couple told me about why they choose to separate.
Last night I was surprised by a sudden divorced announcement from an old friend back in Melbourne. Asked the reason, he just promised me to tell everything when we meet (which is a must!!), since he planned to be back for good to Indonesia end of next month, so... another month to wait.
I never knew when he got married, we kinda lost contact for some time ...because, well ... australian doesn't use BB like Indonesian do, and he hardly 'online', moreover I was busy and focused with works works works, so.. been years since our last conversation. However separation news never been my favourite. My brain automatically guess some potential reason, this "tidak cocok" word came up.
Basically I love to keep in touch with everyone! Yeah, I just love to talk! haha... And that's a very normal thing for women I suppose (not for men, it feels weird somehow to see a man with too many words *alias ember* haha #nooffense).
Just like when you want to find out who divorce whom, who is getting marry, who dating whom, who gave birth.... ask woman! We know everything haha! That's just in our second nature that we have more amount of care and more words in our being. Men will not calling their friend just to have a chit chat for an hour or two right? Women do!
Women are relational creatures to our cores. That's a fact, and actually that's also why women are created in the first place.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”(Genesis 2:18 NIV)
Usually I read that verse and will be more aimed on a woman as an equal partner or a sustainer beside a man. But let's look at the sentence before that, it's not good for the man to be alone! Aha! That's why women so talkative I suppose, because the world will be not good... and as quiet as dead without women! (kalo bahasa iklannya: Gak ada loe gak rame!!** ya jelas siapa nanti yang ngoceh hihihi)
As a 'masterpiece' of God to keep man company, that's women task to help. So, the main role player is the man! We just helper! Yeah, suppose to be man who provide for the family, man who working on the land and make a living, not vice versa.
Nothing wrong with working-woman (I do work too), but that's more of we want to help and make ourselves useful. Not that because we want to steal man's role and be a man... no no no... I'm a woman and I'm sure I love to be treated as woman, we may look strong outside, work like a robot, taking care of everything from household to the office but still it's built feminine-ly fragile and sensitive inside.
But, some men are just failed to do so, the result is women not respecting them as they should be respected. But don't take this for a definite reference, because there many nagging women that make their successful men left them too. Well, relationship never be easy to talk about (and I'm as a single lady doesn't really have the right to judge) but I just want to pop out something:
What if a man doesn't act like a man should be?
My mom is a super mom, she work, she cook, she manage from home to shops, kids to employees, she is the manager of everything! Yeah everything! (and if a quote say to look at the mom as a "reference" how the daughter will be, Alleluia! I'd love to be 'super' like mom but... it does look tiring ...so...let's just be me haha)
However, the final decision maker still my dad, and that's the way it should be.
Even it's VERY obvious for everyone to see that without my mom, everything won't work. True! I'm agree with that. But one thing I learned and admire of my mom: Eventhough she can do everything perfectly by herself (malahan dalam hal tertentu kalau papa ikut campur malah jadi gak karuan karena bukan kebiasaannya haha) but, she still the one that will serve my father's plate. The simple daily-example is: my dad just need to walk down to the dining room and sit there handsomely, while my mom will automatically take the plate and serve him. Sounds too much? Nope, that's a common thing in our family, you will see that in daily basis. But,my dad not handicaped and can actually serve himself right? (manja amat sih *mungkin sebagian bertanya) My mom always taught us, whatever happen, how clever you are making money, once you are married, the husband is the king. Aw aw aw.... That's easy to say not easy to do haha
Yup, even my mom still not that perfect to do so (ya jelas lah kadang juga kan bisa capek dll) but that's the point I want to share: whatever happen, once you married, Husband is the head, so respect him, wife! (since I'm not marry that's not my task yet haha)
But, that doesn't mean man can torture woman to work like a horse while he is just enjoying life and get the respect, no no... it's an interdependent relational. You do yours, I'll do mine, and together we achieve more.
(duh kok jadi panjang begini yah haha)
The bottom line is, mismatching will happen eventhough at first we were so match-made-from-heaven but then if we didn't grow in the same pace or in the same direction and didn't play the same rhyme how can we dance the same song??
Mismatch can be prevented if both parties agree to walk together hand in hand in the same tempo, with the same value system heading to same specific goal and, last but not least, doing everything speaking every words with Godly love.
_Aniex the sudden lunchbreaking relationship observer hohoho!^_^
to match badly or unsuitably (dictionary.com)
One common reason most of divorced couple told me about why they choose to separate.
Last night I was surprised by a sudden divorced announcement from an old friend back in Melbourne. Asked the reason, he just promised me to tell everything when we meet (which is a must!!), since he planned to be back for good to Indonesia end of next month, so... another month to wait.
I never knew when he got married, we kinda lost contact for some time ...because, well ... australian doesn't use BB like Indonesian do, and he hardly 'online', moreover I was busy and focused with works works works, so.. been years since our last conversation. However separation news never been my favourite. My brain automatically guess some potential reason, this "tidak cocok" word came up.
Basically I love to keep in touch with everyone! Yeah, I just love to talk! haha... And that's a very normal thing for women I suppose (not for men, it feels weird somehow to see a man with too many words *alias ember* haha #nooffense).
Just like when you want to find out who divorce whom, who is getting marry, who dating whom, who gave birth.... ask woman! We know everything haha! That's just in our second nature that we have more amount of care and more words in our being. Men will not calling their friend just to have a chit chat for an hour or two right? Women do!
Women are relational creatures to our cores. That's a fact, and actually that's also why women are created in the first place.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”(Genesis 2:18 NIV)
Usually I read that verse and will be more aimed on a woman as an equal partner or a sustainer beside a man. But let's look at the sentence before that, it's not good for the man to be alone! Aha! That's why women so talkative I suppose, because the world will be not good... and as quiet as dead without women! (kalo bahasa iklannya: Gak ada loe gak rame!!** ya jelas siapa nanti yang ngoceh hihihi)
As a 'masterpiece' of God to keep man company, that's women task to help. So, the main role player is the man! We just helper! Yeah, suppose to be man who provide for the family, man who working on the land and make a living, not vice versa.
Nothing wrong with working-woman (I do work too), but that's more of we want to help and make ourselves useful. Not that because we want to steal man's role and be a man... no no no... I'm a woman and I'm sure I love to be treated as woman, we may look strong outside, work like a robot, taking care of everything from household to the office but still it's built feminine-ly fragile and sensitive inside.
But, some men are just failed to do so, the result is women not respecting them as they should be respected. But don't take this for a definite reference, because there many nagging women that make their successful men left them too. Well, relationship never be easy to talk about (and I'm as a single lady doesn't really have the right to judge) but I just want to pop out something:
What if a man doesn't act like a man should be?
My mom is a super mom, she work, she cook, she manage from home to shops, kids to employees, she is the manager of everything! Yeah everything! (and if a quote say to look at the mom as a "reference" how the daughter will be, Alleluia! I'd love to be 'super' like mom but... it does look tiring ...so...let's just be me haha)
However, the final decision maker still my dad, and that's the way it should be.
Even it's VERY obvious for everyone to see that without my mom, everything won't work. True! I'm agree with that. But one thing I learned and admire of my mom: Eventhough she can do everything perfectly by herself (malahan dalam hal tertentu kalau papa ikut campur malah jadi gak karuan karena bukan kebiasaannya haha) but, she still the one that will serve my father's plate. The simple daily-example is: my dad just need to walk down to the dining room and sit there handsomely, while my mom will automatically take the plate and serve him. Sounds too much? Nope, that's a common thing in our family, you will see that in daily basis. But,my dad not handicaped and can actually serve himself right? (manja amat sih *mungkin sebagian bertanya) My mom always taught us, whatever happen, how clever you are making money, once you are married, the husband is the king. Aw aw aw.... That's easy to say not easy to do haha
Yup, even my mom still not that perfect to do so (ya jelas lah kadang juga kan bisa capek dll) but that's the point I want to share: whatever happen, once you married, Husband is the head, so respect him, wife! (since I'm not marry that's not my task yet haha)
But, that doesn't mean man can torture woman to work like a horse while he is just enjoying life and get the respect, no no... it's an interdependent relational. You do yours, I'll do mine, and together we achieve more.
(duh kok jadi panjang begini yah haha)
The bottom line is, mismatching will happen eventhough at first we were so match-made-from-heaven but then if we didn't grow in the same pace or in the same direction and didn't play the same rhyme how can we dance the same song??
Mismatch can be prevented if both parties agree to walk together hand in hand in the same tempo, with the same value system heading to same specific goal and, last but not least, doing everything speaking every words with Godly love.
_Aniex the sudden lunchbreaking relationship observer hohoho!^_^
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