These several years, the hardest question for me is: what qualities of man you want for a husband ?
Most people ask that because usually they want to introduce me or arrange me to someone, some others just out of curiosity.
I had a list of qualities I want from long time ago, because (I forgot who told me to do that) but I wrote the qualities and need to ask myself Do I have all those qualities as well? Because if u want to be with a prince, you yourself need to turn yourself n live as a princess! That will make an equal match!
However, when time goes by, the list became just too many to list! Human always want and want and want, so it's normal if the list became too idealistic. Then me myself even too tired to follow all the list. Hahaga
Then God shows me things that are more important than just being n having good qualities: have Jesus' heart!
Yeah the heart matters! Because from the heart life flows. So the next level God taught me about is just having the heart!
We must have known about the story of the prodigal son right? We've been too focusing about the son that left home and turn back home and about too loving father who instead of ignoring yet he warm welcoming the disappointing son. An example of how huge great love father's heart is. But let's look at the first son! He is the one who always be with the father (my interpretation he is the one that always go to church and work in ministry) yet he is the one that not happy when the prodigal brother turn back home! What happen with his heart??? ***jlebbbb***** Am I behaving like that too God? I asked .... God never yet answer that question of mine but at that very moment I cried loud and long cry, feel sorry feel too cocky.
Suddenly God touched my memory and a flashback replaying in my mind.
I used to be a liar! Yup a liar, I lied about this and that, not a big or evil lie, just small and "white" lie. But lie is lie! Whatever it is ! big or small ! still not a right thing to do. When I realize that I getting used to lie about little things I just felt so bad and regret all those silly words I said. Promising myself not to lie about anything again (and believe me it's hard when you already getting used to "making up" things to make it sounds better, yet now you need to say it just the way it is a naked ugly truth!) But that's one thing I decided to do.
The changes not easy at all and I start to have haters haha. Yeah when you said plain truth about what you think and you feel about, some people just can't accept it, moreover in this community where you expected only said the goods even though you need to lie about it. Well, I used to be "everyone loves Aniex" but now I have friends who hate me ! that's big! But God entertain my sadden heart by opening new dimension of friendship, HE brought new friends that mature enough to fight then laugh, to hurt then forgive, to ignore then care. Yeah we're human and we make mistakes a lot, that's why a new level of friendship may will hurt still (though we will try our best not too, people slips! hehehe) but you will soon forget and forgive.
Then God "shows off"! I always loveee when HE did so. Because "what never came to men's mind, that's what HE will do! Wondrous surprises!" After some struggle years of forcing myself to say only the truth. I learn to know when to silent and didn't talk so I won't lie and won't hurt others with the ugly reality. Then God surprisingly make all of my past lies came true!!! (Not all yet, because when I was in elementary I used to lie that I have Andy Lau as my cousin hahahahahaha and that didn't happen yet hahaha. ) But the others lie... 60% of it came true! When it happens I cried another cry but this time because of too grateful. So God even cleaning up my past reputation!!
Oops I did it again! Lets back to the topic! The first son who got jealous about how his father treating the prodigal son is somehow my reflection! *oucht*
Maybe not just me, but most of us will feel the same, if they admit it though. But let's look to the next line which mention that the father beg him.... Errrrr in that era I suppose that's not the boss will do, begging ! Instead of telling that you shouldn't do that, or giving lesson like : " if you don't want to join the party fine stay there outside! Then leave the first son outside" ----this is my reaction I think hahahahha
But the father is humbling himself and lovingly said "you always with me so everything is yours" woooooooo instead of punishing the prodigal son who wasted his money his inheritance even before he die, he threw a big welcome home party even gifts!! Now instead of judging and ignoring the first son's not-so-right heart he humbling himself even declaring that everything he has is all for the first son. How big is this father's heart???
After reading this, I feel so blessed knowing : yeah this is my Father in heaven will do and always do!
Instead of embarrassing me in others eyes because of too many lies I've said, HE turn it to reality !
Instead of punishing me, HE forgive and bless me beyond measures!
Instead of doing what I deserve, HE loves me with a huge never ending love!
That's how great God is!
Out of love Jesus died for us.
Out of love HE forgive our sins.
Out of love HE bless us.
So... Out of love too we should do back!
God doesn't insist us to love Him back, He doesn't need it.
However, The best kind of love is the mutual love right ?
One sided love is good but two side is best!
When one doing everything out of love and the counterpart just doing the same that will do an amazing harmony!
God loves us too much, so lets love him back by doing what pleasing His heart!
Lets do good just because we love God and want to please Him.
Lets forgive others because God is wonderfully forgave us too!
Lets love others just like Jesus do!
So... Next time someone ask me about the qualities I want in a husband, now I have an answer which contain all that any list can mention:
someone who loves me like Jesus do!
Hahaha hard? No! I said that because I'm aware that I'm pretty annoying sometime ... Sarcastic in other time. Talking too much in one moment. Sudden silence out of bad mood in an instant. As long as I'm still on earth in this sexy body, that chance of me making mistakes is there in any second of life. But, Whatever I will do ... I am sure Jesus still loves me and I will try my best to do His command for my expression of loving Him back. But Awareness of having my share of falling and failing ... So... Big huge heart guys! I will need lots of your apology ^_^ but believe me I'm still adorable person hihihi ! Cheers!!
Most people ask that because usually they want to introduce me or arrange me to someone, some others just out of curiosity.
I had a list of qualities I want from long time ago, because (I forgot who told me to do that) but I wrote the qualities and need to ask myself Do I have all those qualities as well? Because if u want to be with a prince, you yourself need to turn yourself n live as a princess! That will make an equal match!
However, when time goes by, the list became just too many to list! Human always want and want and want, so it's normal if the list became too idealistic. Then me myself even too tired to follow all the list. Hahaga
Then God shows me things that are more important than just being n having good qualities: have Jesus' heart!
Yeah the heart matters! Because from the heart life flows. So the next level God taught me about is just having the heart!
We must have known about the story of the prodigal son right? We've been too focusing about the son that left home and turn back home and about too loving father who instead of ignoring yet he warm welcoming the disappointing son. An example of how huge great love father's heart is. But let's look at the first son! He is the one who always be with the father (my interpretation he is the one that always go to church and work in ministry) yet he is the one that not happy when the prodigal brother turn back home! What happen with his heart??? ***jlebbbb***** Am I behaving like that too God? I asked .... God never yet answer that question of mine but at that very moment I cried loud and long cry, feel sorry feel too cocky.
Suddenly God touched my memory and a flashback replaying in my mind.
I used to be a liar! Yup a liar, I lied about this and that, not a big or evil lie, just small and "white" lie. But lie is lie! Whatever it is ! big or small ! still not a right thing to do. When I realize that I getting used to lie about little things I just felt so bad and regret all those silly words I said. Promising myself not to lie about anything again (and believe me it's hard when you already getting used to "making up" things to make it sounds better, yet now you need to say it just the way it is a naked ugly truth!) But that's one thing I decided to do.
The changes not easy at all and I start to have haters haha. Yeah when you said plain truth about what you think and you feel about, some people just can't accept it, moreover in this community where you expected only said the goods even though you need to lie about it. Well, I used to be "everyone loves Aniex" but now I have friends who hate me ! that's big! But God entertain my sadden heart by opening new dimension of friendship, HE brought new friends that mature enough to fight then laugh, to hurt then forgive, to ignore then care. Yeah we're human and we make mistakes a lot, that's why a new level of friendship may will hurt still (though we will try our best not too, people slips! hehehe) but you will soon forget and forgive.
Then God "shows off"! I always loveee when HE did so. Because "what never came to men's mind, that's what HE will do! Wondrous surprises!" After some struggle years of forcing myself to say only the truth. I learn to know when to silent and didn't talk so I won't lie and won't hurt others with the ugly reality. Then God surprisingly make all of my past lies came true!!! (Not all yet, because when I was in elementary I used to lie that I have Andy Lau as my cousin hahahahahaha and that didn't happen yet hahaha. ) But the others lie... 60% of it came true! When it happens I cried another cry but this time because of too grateful. So God even cleaning up my past reputation!!
Oops I did it again! Lets back to the topic! The first son who got jealous about how his father treating the prodigal son is somehow my reflection! *oucht*
Maybe not just me, but most of us will feel the same, if they admit it though. But let's look to the next line which mention that the father beg him.... Errrrr in that era I suppose that's not the boss will do, begging ! Instead of telling that you shouldn't do that, or giving lesson like : " if you don't want to join the party fine stay there outside! Then leave the first son outside" ----this is my reaction I think hahahahha
But the father is humbling himself and lovingly said "you always with me so everything is yours" woooooooo instead of punishing the prodigal son who wasted his money his inheritance even before he die, he threw a big welcome home party even gifts!! Now instead of judging and ignoring the first son's not-so-right heart he humbling himself even declaring that everything he has is all for the first son. How big is this father's heart???
After reading this, I feel so blessed knowing : yeah this is my Father in heaven will do and always do!
Instead of embarrassing me in others eyes because of too many lies I've said, HE turn it to reality !
Instead of punishing me, HE forgive and bless me beyond measures!
Instead of doing what I deserve, HE loves me with a huge never ending love!
That's how great God is!
Out of love Jesus died for us.
Out of love HE forgive our sins.
Out of love HE bless us.
So... Out of love too we should do back!
God doesn't insist us to love Him back, He doesn't need it.
However, The best kind of love is the mutual love right ?
One sided love is good but two side is best!
When one doing everything out of love and the counterpart just doing the same that will do an amazing harmony!
God loves us too much, so lets love him back by doing what pleasing His heart!
Lets do good just because we love God and want to please Him.
Lets forgive others because God is wonderfully forgave us too!
Lets love others just like Jesus do!
So... Next time someone ask me about the qualities I want in a husband, now I have an answer which contain all that any list can mention:
someone who loves me like Jesus do!
Hahaha hard? No! I said that because I'm aware that I'm pretty annoying sometime ... Sarcastic in other time. Talking too much in one moment. Sudden silence out of bad mood in an instant. As long as I'm still on earth in this sexy body, that chance of me making mistakes is there in any second of life. But, Whatever I will do ... I am sure Jesus still loves me and I will try my best to do His command for my expression of loving Him back. But Awareness of having my share of falling and failing ... So... Big huge heart guys! I will need lots of your apology ^_^ but believe me I'm still adorable person hihihi ! Cheers!!
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