Proud ex-Ngompol-er ^_^

Morning world!  Last night I slept early and woke up even earlier. And suddenly—boom—a memory popped into my head. One of those stories that always reminds me how amazing God is, especially during my early days walking with Him.

Lately, banyak banget orang yang denger kalimat-kalimat seperti:

 “Semua indah pada waktunya...” “Sabar ya...” “Keep the faith...” “Never give up...” 

Kalimat-kalimat ini indah sih, tapi karena terlalu sering didengar, kadang jadi terasa hambar. 

So... I’d like to share my story. Some of you mungkin udah pernah dengar (yes, I’ve told this story over and over again), but it’s so special to me, especially when my faith feels fragile and I need a reminder that God can do the impossible.

I was a chronic bedwetter (alias Ngompolan!). Like, sampai SMA! As a result, I grew up super insecure and quiet (well... not as talkative as I am now at least^^). 
Imagine hidup setiap hari dengan satu kekhawatiran utama:
“What if my friends find out?”
“What if they laugh at me?”
“What if... if... if...”

Dan tentu saja, bukan karena saya males bangun buat pipis (meskipun mama selalu nuduhnya begitu). I had no idea what was wrong with my body. Serius, gak kerasa sama sekali... tiba-tiba bangun udah basah aja! And I had to live like that every single day.

Kasur kapuk kesayanganku? Udah jadi keras kayak papan triplek karena siklus: ngompol → dijemur → ngompol lagi → dijemur lagi. Sampai akhirnya... ya udah, gak dijemur lagi. Dibiarkan saja... hiks. Aromanya? WC umum banget. No kidding.

Doa yang kupanjatkan tiap malam sejak kecil: “Tuhan Yesus, tolong hari ini jangan ngompol ya... terima kasih Tuhan Yesus. Haleluya, Amen.” Doa itu awet banget. Tapi ngompolnya juga awet. 

Yang anehnya... I never doubted God. Bayangin, doa yang sama tiap hari selama belasan tahun, dan tetap ngompol. Tapi versi kecil dari diriku tetap percaya. I guess that’s why Jesus said we should come to Him like little children—because kids don’t overthink, they just believe. Hahaha.

One verse that stuck with me (even though I didn’t know where it was from at the time) was: “Barangsiapa yang percaya kepada Dia, tidak akan dipermalukan.” Turns out, it’s from Roma 10:11. Thank you, Alkitab Online! 😄

So even though I lived in fear—takut ketahuan, takut dipermalukan—deep down I always believed: Tuhan Yesusku GAK mungkin setega itu biarin aku dipermalukan.

And guess what? Not a single friend ever found out. No one ever mocked me. His promise stood firm.

Karena ngompol bikin mama teriak-teriak tiap hari, I thought: “Gimana caranya ya supaya bisa bikin mama papa bangga?” So I decided to study hard. Pikirku, kalaupun aku ngompolan, at least I can be a top student and make them proud.

And it worked! Waktu kamu ranking satu di kelas, you “count” for something. Padahal aslinya... I was slow. Lemot. Gak bisa ngitung cepat. Bahasa Inggris belepotan. Cara pikir juga agak “nyeleneh.” Tapi ternyata bisa juga ranking satu! Hahaha.

My secret? I studied at dawn. Jam 2–3 pagi. Setelah itu tidur lagi. Orang rumah gak tahu, kirain aku pemalas. Tapi karena ranking, ya udah... gak dimarahin. Bahkan papa beliin jam tangan (yang kemudian hilang dan aku dimarahin lagi... tapi tahun berikutnya dibeliin lagi pas ranking satu. Yay! Bukti bahwa papa mulai percaya lagi. Jamnya masih awet sampai sekarang ).

🩸 Puberty Hits: Double Trouble

Lalu datang masa menstruasi. Kasur yang udah keras karena ompol, sekarang kena darah juga. Aromanya? Jangan dibayangin. Too disgusting. Tapi... ternyata kasur keras itu melatih skill tidurku! Camping? Tikar? Lantai? No problem. Aku bisa tidur di mana aja. Hahaha.

Pas pindah ke Malang buat sekolah, I was terrified. What if I wet the bed at kost-kost-an? I cried myself to sleep that first night, praying harder than ever: “Tuhan... please... this has to be the night. Aku malu banget kalau sampai kejadian.” (kalo dibaca ulang sekarang kok ya terasa agak kurang ajar yah maksa-maksa amat bwhahaha)

I even brought a 'perlak', just in case. Dan malam itu... for the first time in 14 years... I didn’t wet the bed. And I never did again. Ever.

That’s my God. He didn’t just heal my body—He healed my shame. He waited for the perfect moment, and showed me that nothing is impossible.

So yes, maybe “Semua indah pada waktunya” sounds cliché. But when you’ve lived it—when you’ve cried through it—it becomes your anthem.

Keep believing. Keep praying. Even if your faith feels fragile. 

Because He’s listening. And He’s never late.

God bless you all!

 #GRATEFUL #FromNgompolanToMiracle #FaithOverFear